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Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts

Error messages are getting more aggressive these days

| Sunday, August 01, 2010

Internal Server Error

The server encountered an internal error or misconfiguration and was unable to complete your request.

A ticket has been automatically opened for this issue. Please contact the server administrator, or better still, someone who cares, and inform them of the time the error occurred, and whatever dumbass thing you did that caused the error, quoting the ticket # PEBCAK_11235.

More information about this error may be available in the server error log, not that you'd have a clue how to read it or anything.

Apache/2.2.8 (Ubuntu) mod_wsgi/2.0 Python/2.5.2 Server at www.hobosapien.com Port 3128

Merry Christmas!

| Thursday, December 24, 2009

Tech support cheatsheet

| Monday, August 24, 2009
Your most invaluable guide to tech support, courtesy of xkcd.com

tech

Technical Support should never be necessary

| Thursday, July 23, 2009
Ah end-users. The only thing really wrong with the world of software support. PEBCAKs, the lot of them.

http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/Support-Should-Never-Be-Necessary.aspx

I've received quite a few mails nearly as bad as these, but I'm sure it would breach the patient / madhouse software doctor confidentiality rule.

pchelptech
"There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works"


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Estimation

| Tuesday, July 21, 2009

See more strips like this at: xkcd

QA Testers needed, job satisfaction guaranteed

| Monday, July 14, 2008

A Modern Design Classic

| Friday, April 25, 2008

The Office of Government Commerce got more than they bargained for when they commissioned a new logo

Sony backtrack on DRM policy

| Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Finally, Sony admit that they may have gone too far with the whole DRM thing.
Blu-Ray is comprehensively beaten into second place by HD-DVD.
AV-comparatives blows the lid on the hidden spyware that ships with the PS3.
Sam Palmisano confuses Bill Gates with beef jerky and eats him.
Vista SP1 is actually quite good.

The Nerd Handbook

| Friday, December 14, 2007
Jeez I will have to get dozens of copies of this.

Shoutcast Internet Radio

| Friday, October 05, 2007
This isn't a bad place to go for some Internet radio. You'll need to install a Media Player that supports Shoutcast's stream playlists. WinAmp is recommended, but I think Jet Audio handles it better.

I've been listening a bit to Prank Call Underground, just for LOLs

http://www.shoutcast.com
http://www.winamp.com/player

Please comment on this post with your favourite Internet radio sites.

Your sister is as phosphorescent as a postal worker!

| Tuesday, September 25, 2007
That's possibly the best insult that Insult, courtesy of the some person(s) who really should know better, can throw at you.
Decide for yourself, if you've got nothing better to do



Thanks to muglatte for bringing this piece of useless garbage to my attention ;-)

Computer Humor - two normally mutually exclusive words

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Computer Humor - two normally mutually exclusive words come together to form a web page sprinkled with unfunny quips that aren't worth reading.

Why am I posting it? Well, what can I say? It's been a slow week.




Thanks to muglatte for bringing this piece of the interweb to my attention

Are you a nerd? Take the test and find out

|
Knowing who this guy is makes you a techno-freakin' nerd burglar, apparently.

Click on the image of His Nerdiness to take said test, you fucken faggit geekass homo you.


Thanks to muglatte for bringing this piece of the interweb to my attention

Welcome to Zombocom...

| Monday, September 24, 2007
"... this is Zombocom, you can do anything at Zombocom, anything at all, the only limit is yourself..."

The unattainable is unknown at Zombocom.

Visit zombo.com now at zombo.com

**WARNING** You must have speakers to enjoy this limitlessly interactive service

**another WARNING** Don't click on the link, it is a waste of everybody's time

Archeonology

| Friday, September 14, 2007
After having dug to a depth of 1000 meters last year, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 1000 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed, English scientists dug to a depth of 2000 meters and shortly after headlines in the UK newspapers read; English archaeologists have found traces of 2000year old fibre-optic cable and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech digital communications network a thousand years earlier than the Scots.

One week later, Irish newspapers reported the following: After digging as deep as 5000 meters in a County Mayo bog, Irish scientists have found absolutely nothing. They, therefore, have concluded that 5000 years ago, Ireland's inhabitants were already using wireless technology.

IT Hell

| Friday, September 07, 2007

Web 2.0
Circle I Limbo

OSI Seven Layer Model
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

cgi-bin
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

C++
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Internet Explorer
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

IT Management
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Bill Gates
Circle VII Burning Sands

Apple's Grooviness
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

IT Consultants
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

Rant of the Week

| Wednesday, July 25, 2007
This week's "Rant of the Week" comes from Azag Thoth's comment on http://www.tweakxp.com/article37043.aspx. At the very least, it should surely win some sort of longest-ever-sentence-in-a-blog-comment award.

"Posted 1/9/2006 2:31:57 PM by Azag Thoth

Symantec Norton AV is cr@p so you get what you pay for. I've seen it progress over the years and it has many uninstall and software compatiblity problems (ie. it doesn't work well with others especially other companies that sell AV or security apps...this is quite intentionally by design.) Also it is a resource hog from heck as with other programs Symantec makes. An exception to the rule is Norton Ghost which is a powerful useful and fully funtional program (but Acronis is probably even better from what i've read from real people using it) of higher standards than there others which tend to suffer code bloat but reach the masses of average joe's everywhere do to rather user friendly straight forward interface/GUI which had idiots with no knowledge of the workings of a PC. The same holds true for AOL ... I mean AOH3LL the browser is a useless hunk of cr@p with broken functionality which is a mere shell over the top of IE but yet totally unstable and broken (try opening a PDF file in it for example...though it suffers your whole security ,OS and resources even more LOL.) Again my point being is is similar in popularity but why simply because it is targeted towards idiots and spoon fed to people like cr@ck through easy friendly happy go lucky interface with big fat cutsie icons and of course the other thing they have in common is the they spend more money in PR/ads/marketing than the others in their industries and spend less on research and development. But hey these same comnpanies could be selling you a nice REAL looking Rolex watch for 20 bucks! ;-) "There is a s*cker born every minute." - (falsely attributed to) P.T. Barnum"


Well done Azag, your prize is in the post.

Computer Quotations

| Monday, June 18, 2007
The computing field is always in need of new cliches.
-Alan Perlis

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
-Andy Rooney (1919 - )

The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
-Bill Gates (1955 - ), Business @ The Speed of Thought

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
-Bradley's Bromide

Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users?
-Clifford Stoll

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
-Doug Larson

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.
-E. W. Dijkstra

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
-Edward Shepherd Mead

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
-Farmers' Almanac, 1978

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
-Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)

Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.
-Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
-James Magary

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-Jef Raskin, interviewed in Doctor Dobb's Journal

The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against wacking them around a little.
-Joe Martin, Porterfield

One would think that if you're anonymous, you'd do anything you want, but groups have their own sense of community and what we can do.
-John Allen, A network called 'Internet', CBC, 10-08-93

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
-John C. Dvorak

There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home.
-Ken Olsen (1926 - ), President, Digital Equipment, 1977

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
-Nathaniel Borenstein (1957 - )

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
-Pablo Picasso (1881 - 1973)

The computer is a moron.
-Peter Drucker (1909 - 2005)

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and no-one dares criticize it.
-Pierre Gallois

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
-Rick Cook, The Wizardry Compiled

To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
-Robert Orben

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
-Robert X. Cringely, InfoWorld magazine

I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.
-Stephen Hawking (1942 - )

All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
-Unknown

In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it.
-Unknown

Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vaccuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1.5 tons.
-unknown, Popular Mechanics, March 1949

Nobody in the game of football...

|
Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein.

- Joe Theismann

One for the Bradford fans

| Monday, April 30, 2007
"I understand that the police are looking into the pitch invasions at
Elland Road. So far, they've searched the Championship but have been
unable to find any Leeds" - Rob Freeman.